50 Things to do on an Elevator to Pass the Time?
Or, "50 Things to Piss Off the Other Passengers..."
- Make race car noises everytime someone gets on or off.
- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents to the others.
- Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead repeatedly and muttering, "Shut up dammit! All of you, just SHUT UP!"
- Whistle "It's a Small World" incessantly.
- Sell Girl Scout cookies.
- On a long ride, sway back and forth to the natural frequency of the elevator.
- Shave.
- Crack open your briefcase or handbag and, while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
- Hand out name tags to everyone getting on.
- Stand silently and motionless in a corner, facing the wall, and don't get off.
- Just before arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open then act surprised when they open by themselves.
- Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a wet willy?"
- Greet everyone getting on with a hardy handshake and introduce yourself as the "Elevator Admiral."
- One word. Flatulence.
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand it remain open till you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft hit the bottom.
- Do Tai Chi.
- Stare, grinning, at one of the passengers. When they notice you, claim, "I have new underwear on".
- Stand in the back. When the elevator is packed, mutter, "Oh, NO! Not now damn motion sickness..."
- Give last rites.
- Meow or growl occasionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit 5 quarters in your nose.
- Frown and mutter the Detrol jingle, "Gotta Go, Gotta Go". Then say, "Oops..."
- Start pulling out your shirt tail and ask, "Does this look infected?"
- Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while pushing every button in order.
- Holler, "Chutes away!" everytime the elevator descends.Walk in with a cooler that says in bold large letters "Human Head" on the side.
- Stare at one passenger for a while, then mutter, "You're one of THEM!", then move away from him/her.
- Burp then say, "MMmmmm...Tasty."
- Leave a box between the doors when you get off and ignore any warnings.
- Ask each person getting on, in your best 'excited little kid voice' if you can push the button for them.
- Wear a hand puppet and talk 'thru' it.
- Start a sing-along.
- When the elevator is perfectly silent, look around a ask angrily, "Well? Are you going to answer that?"
- Play air guitar or air accordion.
- Shadow box.
- Say "Ding" at each floor.
- Lean against the button panel.
- Say, "I wonder what these do?" then push all the buttons. If you are brave and larger than the rest, push the red ones, too.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. If no stethoscope is available, use a small drinking glass and press your ear to it.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce, "THIS is my personal space."
- Bring a chair and have a seat.
- Take a big bite out of a sandwich than offer it to someone.
- Bring on Mr. Bubble and blow bubbles.
- Pull your gum out in long strings.
- Announce in your best 'Demonic Voice', "I must find a more suitable host body."
- Carry a small blanket and clutch it protectively.
- Make a light-saber swishing sound everytime a button is pushed.
- Wear 'X-Ray' specs and stare suggestively at passengers.
- Stare at your thumb and say, "My God, I think it's getting bigger!"
- If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"
- Stage a fight between your left hand trying to save you and your right hand trying to strangle you.